Still there are things that make me hopeful and make me smile. One of those things (or should I say 10 of them) is my children. They tend to say the right things at the right time to make me laugh or smile just about the time I want to cry.
The second time the air conditioner man came out was one of those times. He had already been out, charged me a lot to fix the air and left thinking it was working right. Then the next day it was not working again. Because I was getting the car fixed as well I had to wait until late in the afternoon to have him back out to fix it. I couldn't fathom how much more it was going to cost, especially after spending so much to fix our van. Still, it had be fixed right.
I was downstairs talking to the air guy as he worked on the unit and Bella came downstairs with a pillow in her shirt. She was laughing and said, "Look! I'm pregnant!" We all laughed at her, especially when the pillow came out. Ben looked at me standing there and said, "Mama, you're pregnant too!"
Ben, not being dissuaded said, "Yes you are! You have a baby in your tummy!"
Me, feeling even worse and very fat now because on top of telling me I was pregnant he was rubbing my stomach at the same time. "No Ben, I'm not. I'm just fat."
Ben looked up at me with surprise. His face softened and he looked me directly in my eyes and said softly, "Oh no Mama. You're not fat, you're beautiful." And then he put his arms around me and snuggled his face into my softness and hugged me as tight as he could.
The air guy looked at me and said, "That makes it all worth it, doesn't it?"
I smiled and told him that it did. Even though I was embarassed at Ben insisting that I was pregnant, I felt loved and beautiful too. Somehow the stress of the week melted away. Sometimes it only takes a little one telling me I'm beautiful to reaffirm that life isn't so bad after all.