Jacob Liam

After a very long and emotional ride through the last two years we were blessed on March 16th as jacob Liam entered the world and our arms. He was 8 lbs 9 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. He has blond hair and blue eyes and is loved so deeply by so many it's amazing.

His birth story will have to wait for a little bit since I am still not quite up to writing it out. He was born via emergency c-section after trying to push him out breech. It was a very scary situation and one that would change our lives forever. My uterus ruptured severely as did my bladder. It required 3 1/2 hours of surgery to put back together. The last two weeks of recovery have been hard, made harder by the knowledge that I am not to get pregnant again as my uterus was so badly damaged they fear that it won't hold another pregnancy at all. My heart is hurting every bit as much as my body has been hurting but we will get through this all with our faith anchoring us not only to God but to each other.

We are so thankful that both Jake and I were able to make it through the birth. We were told that it almost wasn't so. But we are both here and so thankful for the life that God has blessed us with and plan to cherish it even more than before. It's hard walking through this storm. It seems like there is no end to the rain and to the trials. I know there is though... I just have to be patient and to trust. I know that once my physical healing is going better that my emotional and spiritual healing will be a little easier too, at least I hope they will. It may be easier to focus on the physical right now and the tougher road is yet to come. I don't know.

Jake is beautiful and he is perfect. I couldn't ask for anything more. I have always said I would give my everything for any one of my children, born or unborn. I never knew how hard it would be to sacrifice my fertility but to hold him in my arms is worth it. I pray each of my children know how much I love them and that I would sacrifice equally for them.

Thank you for your love and prayers. We are still in need of them. We are celebrating the new life that has been gifted to our family through Jacob's birth. We are also mourning the loss of a way of life that we have been devoted to for our entire marriage. I have no idea where we go from here just that we will go together and with faith. I feel like I'm in the dark and reaching out not knowing what's out there for us. It's a frightening feeling. I am praying that God will guide us and that He will help ease this pain, both in my body and in my soul.

We have been blessed beyond belief and I am so thankful every day for those blessings. I am trusting, I am waiting, I am hoping in the Lord and I am loving my children with all my heart and soul.