Quote of the Day

Ben came to me earlier and said, "Mama, smell my armpits. They smell like corndogs!"

I grinned at him and said, "Honey, that's just lunch cooking but it sure would be fun to have armpits that smell like corndogs."

Ben frowned and walked away. I think he really wanted corndog smelling armpits.

A Beggar's Hands

I had a very overwhelming and moving experience yesterday at Mass. I was on the list to serve as one of the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion. While I had been "trained" to do this job I had never been called or had the opportunity to do this duty before.

After we all prayed the Our Father and shared a sign of peace with each other I approached the side of the altar to wait for the proper time to receive communion myself and to be handed the vessel that I would be serving from. I assumed I would be given a chalice filled with the Holy Blood and I was nervous about making sure I didn't drop it or spill any of the precious blood of Christ. Upon receiving communion myself I was handed not a chalice but a ciborium filled with the Body of Christ. A new set of worries took over... would I drop one? Would I know immediately if the communicant was receiving by mouth or hand? Would I accidently touch someone's tongue? Despite my concerns I took my place and began giving the Lord's body to each who came to me.

I saw that my hand was shaking, not as I lifted Christ before them and said, "The Body of Christ" but as I gently placed Him either in their hands or on their tongue. I realized that I was shaking not because I was nervous but because I was holding Jesus in my hands and giving Him to His faithful followers. The sheer magnitude of what I was getting to do was simply amazing.

Because my family only receives communion on the tongue I was not bothered at all by placing Christ onto the tongues of those who came to me. I thought that maybe I would be but found that I wasn't. I was surprised, however, that I found myself in awe of those who received by hand. I looked at those hands, all of them so different. Some of them were callosed and hard, others were soft and smooth. There were young hands and old hands. Hands that were missing fingers. Hands that had perfectly manicured nails. They were all so different and yet the very same. They were all outstretched waiting to hold and accept Christ.

One woman came to me, her hands cupped together, almost like a poor beggar hoping for food. I came to understand that all of us are just poor beggars waiting for the food of life... Christ's body. As I lifted Christ before her and heard her "Amen" I felt a tremendous amount of love and humility fill me. I caught my breath and my eyes filled with tears. It was hard to hold back the tears because the magnitude of what I was getting to do with and for my fellow parishoners was so overwhelming. I didn't expect those feelings.

I have always believed in the Real Presence of Christ in the Holy Eucharist. I believe that the bread and wine does become Jesus' body and blood just as he commanded in the Bible. Yesterday though something amazing happened for me. I was reminded that while Jesus offers us this beautiful gift we still have to accept it with our hearts open to His will. We have to have our hands cupped, outstretched and eager for the blessings that God has promised us, that He gives us each and every day. We have to say, "Amen! I believe!" and we have to take Him into our hearts, minds and bodies. He has to become a part of us in the most intimate way.

The Holy Eucharist is such a blessing. Yesterday I felt fortunate to be able to participate in the most important aspect of our faith. I feel blessed. I feel loved. I feel whole. I am so thankful for this beautiful and important gift that Jesus has given to us!

A Giveaway at The Displaced Texan

Allison over at The Displaced Texan is hosting a Build-a-Bear giveaway. Go check her out! Hurry it ends tomorrow! Not only could you win a great prize but honestly she is a great writer too! I love her views on her faith and I am particularly loving that she's back in the U.S. now!

Allison, thank you for your sacrifice as a military wife. I have lived that life and it is a hard one! Most people don't understand the sacrifices that families make as their soldiers are giving so much for our freedoms and rights.

Flavored Just Right

The other day I was making a pork loin roast for supper. We have had this before but this was a different recipe for it. I don't know how many times I was asked, "What is that? What are we having for supper?" Patiently I would reply, "We are having pork loin. It's a roast. It's a pig. You'll love it." Whoever was asking would say ok and skip off into the other room.

If you think that each kid asked a minimum of 2 times that was 14 times I was asked what was for supper (since Caroline and Madison can't talk yet!). However some asked more than this. Anna asked probably 6 times what we were having for supper. Finally my patience wore thin and I gave an answer that I thought might make her stop asking me what we were having. The kids are used to me answering with off the wall answers so I didn't think she'd be bothered by my answer but just might stop asking me over and over again the same question.

Anna: Mama, what are we havin' for supper?

Me: Oh, just some fried rabbit ears and grilled kitten in a nice wine sauce.

Anna with a puzzled look on her face: What's a wine sauce?

Oh my gosh I laughed and laughed. She took the rabbit ears and kittens in stride like I cook those all the time but the wine sauce? Who on earth would serve something like that? I told her what a wine sauce is and asked if it sounded yummy. She said no and then giggled.

Anna: Mama, you aren't making kittens and rabbit ears.

Me: You're right Anna. It's a roast. Now go and play.

Kaylie and I laughed and laughed when she left the room. I guess she knows me well enough to know that I'll joke about eating kittens but not about wine sauce. That's serious stuff right there!

By the way, the roast was amazing and the wine sauce complimented it nicely!

Still An Obsession

If you've been reading here very long you may remember a post I made about Anna and her love of armpits. You might not remember it, it's been almost a year ago! If you can't recall and want to read about it you can find it here. Well, Anna had not said anything in a long time about armpits and I assumed that her fascination with them might just be over. Yesterday proved me wrong...

I was down in the laundry room switching over laundry when Anna came to me and said, "Hey, Mama, smell my armpit!"

I told her no, I was pretty sure I didn't want to smell her armpit.

She said, "Yes you do! It's smells good!"

I was pretty sure she probably got into someone's deodorant but it didn't change my mind. I assured her that no, I really didn't need to smell them.

"But Mama, I'm swerious... you just need to smell them!" she exclaimed.

"Anna, I'M serious. No, I'm not smelling your armpits."

Anna sighs loudly and shakes her head, "You're missing out Mama."

She walked off and I laughed. I was missing out on some sweet smelling armpits. Funny thing is, I don't think I missed out on much! The best part wasn't the smell but the story that went with it!

Pickles and Rabbit Poop

I love the mispronunciations that my kids have. There are certain words that while they are little I just don't correct. Many things will correct themselves over time and while they are little it's not so important to say everything correctly. It's not going to be long and my kids won't need to get something out of the "refridilator" or want to color with "cwayons" or take a "baff wiff bubbles".

I also love the phrases my kids come up with. Sometimes they take something very simple and change it into something different based on what they think they are hearing. Take this song for instance... Pat Benetar's "Heartbreaker". This song is on the Guitar Hero game and so the kids know it. Bella loves it and sings it alot. But when she sings it she says, "You're a heartbreaker, Pickle maker!" and then hums the rest of the other words. I crack up every single time.

Today we were eating hot dogs and macaroni and cheese and Bella decided she needed pepper for her macaroni. She looked around and then said, "Hey, where's the good pepper? You know the one that looks like rabbit poop?" After I finally stopped laughing I told her just to use regular pepper since the "rabbit poop pepper" was in the cabinet.

On weeks like my recent ones where the kids are bouncing off the walls, the house is a mess, school is lagging and I feel like I'm being torn in so many directions, when I hear one of the kids say something like this it helps me remember how fun my kids are. Sure, being a parent is a lot of work but the rewards are great. Sometimes it just takes hearing a song sung out of tune and with different words to help me remember.

Checking In

I'm sorry it's been so long since I last wrote! Time seems to get away so quickly these days. Most of the time I feel like I'm chasing my tail with all that we have to do. It's funny because we don't have a lot of "extras" that we do, only a few. Still, we are always on the go and busy. It's nice to stop and smell the roses sometimes.

Madison is doing much better. She's finally growing! At four months now she finally broke the 10 pound mark! I was so excited for her. She weighed 10 1/2 pounds at 4 months 1 week. She still is having problems both with her bowels and her reflux but not nearly as bad as she was before. Well, I say that but the reflux is worse, the bowels a tiny bit better. I guess in the end it balances out. She is a wonderful and happy baby though. She giggles alot and belly laughs at Garrett. He is particularly fond of her and calls her "his baby". One day that boy is going to make an amazing husband and father! At 14 he knows more than most men ever know even after having their own kids. I love to watch them together!

Caroline is feisty and gets into everything! Oh how she keeps me on my toes! I know when I can't hear her "talking" that means trouble. She's normally up to her elbows playing in the toliet. I know, gross. She's also been known to just climb right in the toliet too. Oh how she's naughty! But her laugh just lights up her eyes and she wiggles her way out of being in trouble. She's 16 months old now. She's only 18 1/2 pounds but those 18 1/2 pounds are naughty and silly! She's learning from the best (Bella) so she's definitely one that's going to keep us busy!

Ben is getting big... 3 1/2 now! Every day I am amazed by him and how he's just a little man now. I look at him and wonder where my baby went to. With his little cowlick he reminds us of Flapjack and that is my nickname for him now. He calls me "Bubby" sometimes who is Flapjack's "mama" on the show. She's a whale who is fiercely protective of Flapjack. Yep, he's my Flapjack and I'm his Bubby. He melts my heart.

Anna is just so stinking funny now! She has the absolute best laugh in the world and has figured out how to tell a joke. I love 5 year olds and their new found funny bone. She is tiny but a prankster and you'd never know it by looking at her. She's pretty shy around everyone else but for those who know her... watch out! She's out to pull a fast one on you. She makes me smile every single day with a joke or a prank. She loves taking pictures of herself making funny faces and I have tons of pictures of us together just making faces. I hope she always remembers that because I know I will.

Bella... oh, Bella. 6 going on 7 and crazy as ever! She still keeps me on my toes with the things she comes up with. I wonder sometimes what goes on in her mind. She is naughty but God love her, she is so darn sweet too. She's one that's very much in need of physical love. She loves to hug and kiss and lay on you. Most of the time that wouldn't be a problem except that she's built like a bear cub... stocky and strong and full of life. She doesn't sit still when she's on you and she practically can tackle me AND Mike to the ground! Still, she loves to love you and she has a heart of gold. Most of my best stories begin with, "Guess what Bella did today".

Emma is nine now and is finally finding out that she can be a big girl and doesn't need to whine. It's been a pleasant change! It's funny to see the light bulbs going off in her mind. She's not a little girl but not a big one either. She's starting to want to be bigger though and is figuring out the differences, especially in how people act, and is trying to act a little older. She's really come a long way. Because she's so tiny most people think she's only about 6. She's treated so much younger because of it. She's starting to exert a little bit in that area and will let people know that she really is older and can do more things. It makes me proud to see her that way. She is still Irish Step dancing and is doing a wonderful job! She loves it and I enjoy watching her perform so much!

Savannah is 11 and is turning into such a wonderful young lady. She absolutely adores Caroline and begs me to be able to help take care of her. She makes sure that she is the last person to kiss Caroline before she goes to bed and that she is the first one to get to hold her when she wakes up. I just love watching them together. She is going to make an amazing mother one day. She is so patient and kind to the little kids. She takes them outside to play and loves to give them baths. She helps dress them and loves to just sit with them in her lap. She is amazing! She is also still in Irish Step dancing and is getting so good! Every week the teacher tells me how impressed she is with her. She and Emma will be starting hard shoe at the first of the year. They are so excited!

Garrett is 14 and is such an amazing young man. I just can't even begin to say how impressed I am with him. He still has his times where I scratch my head and say, "WHY???" but those are getting to be fewer and farther between. He loves Madison and claims she's his "gangsta baby". He totes her around and loves on her. It just really makes my heart swell when I see them together. He's been having some health issues that I'm hoping won't be too horrible for him. He has deveoloped a chest deformity called Pectus Carinatum. I noticed a large lump on his chest last month and we went on to do a lot of testing following that. We ruled out bone cancer, scoliosis as well as a few other things. We finally figured out Pectus Carinatum even though he doesn't present in the normal fashion (normally the deformity is uniform, his is only on one side, thus he doesn't have a "pigeon beak" presentation but more of a Quasimodo in the front formation). We never do things the normal fashion and this was a really scary time for us. When we were ruling out the big things like cancer it was almost too much to bear! Poor Garrett has already been through so much in his short life but he is approaching this like he does all his other medical problems... he has a constant smile on his face and is always laughing. He is such a wonderful kid!

Kaylie is 16! She has had her driver's permit for over a year now and only needs to finish an online course she's been working on before she can go get her license. I think she has about 6 hours left of the 30 hour course to do. She is just a great kid too. So honest and trustworthy. I know she's going to do great once she does get her license. She's hoping to be able to go get a job once she has it. I'm not sure how I feel about that but I know the experience will be good for her. She is finally becoming a little more outgoing and has been making a lot of new friends. She's loves to still hang out with me though and I love that so much! She tells her friends that I'm one of her best friends and I can't even tell you how much that means too. Most teenagers think their parents are stupid and yet mine tells their friends that we're pretty cool and that they love to hang out with us. I never knew how much I would love having teenagers! She makes me look forward to all the rest coming up.

So that's the update on the kids. I'll have to do Mike and me later. If you got this far, thank you! If not, that's ok too since I love being able to come back and read years later what was going on right now in our lives. Life is hectic and I need to remember to slow down and catch my breath sometimes. Otherwise it's all going to be a blur when I try to remember it all later on.

I hope everyone is doing wonderfully! Noonie, thank you for checking up on me! It made me smile to get your message :)

Madison is 3 Months Old!

Madison is 3 months old already! Where in the world has the time gone? She has been struggling still some with her bowels but a bout of sickness seems to have helped a little. As much as I hate her to be sick I also hope it will continue to keep her bowels from backing up.

The kids are still head over heals for her. Caroline has showed no signs of jealousy and loves to kiss her little sister on her head and face. She loves to sit with her and will climb in the swing to be with her. Madison doesn't care for this but Caroline loves it!

Madison is sleeping and eating well. She has severe reflux so that's frustrating. She weighs just a mere 9 1/2 pounds but she growning anyway! Although she was born at 8 lbs 2 oz she lost so much with her bowel problems and the surgeries she went through. So she is gaining and while it's a slow gain it's still a gain. We chalk it up to a win for her!

She is so smiley and grins from ear to ear every time someone talks to her. She's a gem. It's funny to go from Caroline who was colicky and so hard to handle to Madison who is pretty laid back and who loves to cuddle, eat and sleep!

She is such an amazing addition to our family. It's funny how you wonder when you are pregnant just how this newest baby will fit in and then she's here and she fits like she was always here. I can't imagine life without her.

She keeps us smiling and laughing. She talks to us with coos and giggles. She makes the older kids ooh and ahh. That's always a great thing to hear and see... the older kids doting on the little ones. Garrett has claimed her to be "his baby" much like Savannah "claimed" Caroline. Garrett calls Madison his gansta baby and says she's going to always be his buddy. I just love it and it melts my heart.

While I don't know if we'll have any more children I do know that the children God has sent us have all been exactly what our family needs. I hope and pray there are more blessings on the horizon for us as Madison has been a clear reminder of what an amazing joy children are to their families.

Sprekenzie Deutsche

Each year before our school year starts I ask the kids what kinds of things they would like to learn about in the upcoming year. It's a brainstorming session that helps me decide where we will go with the new school year.

This year Kaylie said she'd like to continue learning French and Japanese and perhaps start Italian if she has the time. This made me happy since I am pretty good with French (I've had 5 years of French and can read and speak pretty well).

Garrett said he'd love to learn German. I told him we'd have to have his daddy's help on that one since Mike took some German in school and would know more about the pronunciations than I would.

Savannah talked about learning more math (she loves math!) and wanting to do more science experiments.

As we got to Emma she said she also wanted to learn more math and science. She didn't say much else. I thought they each had some really great ideas.

Later while I was in the babies room Emma came to find me. She said she thought of something else she'd like to learn. I was curious since she seemed so serious. Emma said she'd like to learn English. I reassured her that we would do more English and that everyone had to do it, not just her.

She said, "No, I want to learn to speak English. You know, like, 'Good day mate! Would you like some tea and biscuits' " (of course this was said in her best British accent). She proceeded to say, "You know, they call cookies biscuits over there. I want to learn to speak English like that!"

I laughed so hard! It was so cute and I assured her that we'd figure out just how to speak "English" perfectly so that the next time we had a tea party we could speak in a foreign language.

Perspective

Today Kaylie was deep cleaning her room. Because she's a teenager this isn't something that happens often at all. In fact, I would say it's been years since her room was deep cleaned. Sure she straightens it up every now and again but to actually deep clean it, just doesn't happen.

For whatever reason she decided that it was time to go through all of her "treasures" and really clean out her room. I didn't ask her to do it she just decided on her own. So she's been downstairs for two days going through everything. She started with her closet and she and Savannah (who share the closet space) started going through clothes and shoes. She then moved on to the storage containers that have books and toys and stuffed animals. I've left her alone because I know that going through things that have meant alot to you over the years is hard to do. She needs time and space to do that.

Today she moved on to the rest of her room. She just came to me while I was downstairs putting in more laundry, her hand hiding behind her back. Smiling a huge grins she said that while she was cleaning she found something and wanted to give it to me. Our conversation went like this...

Kaylie: Mama, it seems that several years ago I made you a card for Mother's day that I forgot to give you.

Me: Oh, really?

Kaylie: Yep, here it is!

The card was made out of computer paper and the front was colored with blue crayon and she had drawn a pink rose on it. In the inside on one side was pink hearts and blue stars. On the opposite side it said in rainbow lettering, "Happy Mother's Day to the best Mama ever!" Below this is a mom and daughter hugging.

I smiled and said thank you. She then said..

Kaylie: It has to be from quite a while ago.

Me: Why? Because of the way you wrote and how you drew?

Kaylie: No, because I drew myself so much shorter than you.

Me: How would you draw it now? Both of us the same height?

Kaylie (laughing and walking off towards her room rubbing it in): No, I'd draw me a little taller!

How different our perspectives are! She sees the growth physically that she's made over the last several years and I see more of the emotional growth she's gone through. Either way she's grown and is becoming quite an amazing young woman. She makes me proud. I think I should draw her a card now with a mom and daughter hugging, the daugther slightly taller than the mother, with the message... "You are a wonderful daughter and I'm so proud to be your Mama!" Of course it'd have pink hearts, blue stars and a rose on the front.

Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today was one of the hardest I've ever had. It was the day we lost Dominic. I had lost him already but my body refused to give him up so I went in for a D&C. I walked in the hospital as two and came out as one, but without a baby in my arms. Coming home was bittersweet. The kids were mourning too but they also helped keep me going. They drew me pictures, they hugged me and Kaylie made a video of our family. All these things showed me that even though I was hurting and lost God was still right there with me. With us.

I was very lucky that I was able to get pregnant immediately but all through my pregnancy I cried for the babies I had lost in the past. I cried for Dominic by name because he was the only baby we had lost that we had named, but there have been more and I have cried for them as well. For me it doesn't matter the amount of time that they have been in our lives, they are our children and when they aren't here we miss them.

Looking back on that day I would have never guessed that two years later I would have not one but TWO babies now! It's hard to know and understand God's plans but I know deep in my heart that they are always better than my own. I try to remind myself of that when things seem so hard. On this day two years ago it was almost, but not quite, impossible. Thankfully God used my other children to remind me of His love and His plans. They showed me each and every day that God was (and is) in control. Thankfully so!

I can't begin to imagine what our lives will be two years from now. I suppose that's probably for the best. I'm not sure I would want to know. The joy of all the unexpected blessings is amazing. God is good and I trust that He will always see us through all those times when it seems like we are stumbling around in the dark. He has the light and leads the way. When I think back to all the dark times we have been through I remember that light that shone and kept me moving forward. It ws shining through Mike. It was shining through our children. And it was shining through all our friends who provided love and help. God's love was all around us. How beautiful is that?!

We love and miss you Dominic... you are forever in our hearts.

Our Pimpin' Ride

I have to admit it... I never in a million years thought I would be driving a 15 passenger van. Shoot, I never thought I would drive a minivan and swore I would never drive a full sized van and yet here I am, Captain of a 15 passenger bus!

When I was a child I always wanted 9 kids. I wanted my very own baseball team. To be honest I never thought about what I would need to drive in order to get them all where they needed to go. I knew I didn't want a full sized van since I hate ours that we had when I was a kid. There were 7 of us kids plus my mom and dad and grandma. There were only technically 7-8 seats with 3-4 of them being in the back on a bench. That meant several of us were floor riders. Definitely not something you can do now but back then there weren't seatbelt laws or capacity laws and we all stuffed in that van. On carpool days it was even worse. We looked like clowns all unpiling from that van. All of us plus all the kids we picked up along the way... well, it made for a funny sight when we needed to all get out at school. It scarred me and I swore I would never drive a full sized van.

A couple years ago we were presented with the opportunity to buy a new vehicle. It was a deal we couldn't pass up. The only thing was we were currently driving a 7 passenger Chevy Astro van and had 8 people in our family. That meant if we needed to all go somewhere we had to drive two cars (you know because we couldn't just pack in kids like we could in the 70s and 80s). We debated on whether we wanted to go up to a 12 passenger or a 15 passenger van. We decided on the 15 passenger one. My inlaws questioned if we were sure we wanted to buy something that huge. We figured if we did we'd never have to upgrade again despite adding more kids to the family. It was one of the best decisions I think we have ever made.

I never thought I would like driving a big van but I love it. We have so much room and it truly isn't hard to drive or park. It drives really smoothly and handles like a dream. I hate that it doesn't get great gas mileage but I guess we had to sacrifice somewhere.

That said we get a lot of comments about our "bus". The kids were bothered by it at first I think (well, a couple of the older ones) but as their friends have gotten to ride in it the embarassment has faded. It's a relief too since that's going to be our ride for a long, long time!

A couple of my favorite comments that we have gotten recently are:

1. One of Savannah's friends had a friend over to her house (she lives next door to us) and the new girl saw our van and said, "Wow, you go to school in that bus?" Savannah laughed and said, "We go everywhere in that thing! It's just our car." She then explained that we have 9 children and the girl told her how lucky she is!

2. A couple weeks ago I had my hair permed by a friend who works at a saloon. I parked and walked in. My friend told me to sit down and asked if I brought anyone with me. I said no and that I had instructed them to not call me for the next couple of hours as it would be hard for me to answer the phone. The lady who works with Carla asked, "Oh, who do you drive for?" Carla and I started to laugh and I said, "I drive for myself. That's my car." Carla told her how many kids we have and she laughed.

We call our van Big Bertha. She is huge and white and looks like a church bus. But she is ours and we love her. I guess she's proof that we should never say never.

A Long 8 Weeks

Madison will be 2 months old tomorrow. It's hard to believe that so much time has passed already. It seems like yesterday that I was worrying about her health in utero and we were anxiously waiting for her to get her.

Of course it also seems like a long 2 months as well. Poor Madison has been through so much already. Xrays, biopsies, IV lines, a spinal tap... more than a tiny person should ever have to go through.

We have had a virus at our house for a couple weeks now. For the older kids it meant diarrhea for a day or two followed by sore throats and a hacking cough. For Madison it has meant so much more.

For two weeks now Madison has been running fever. She did have some diarrhea, which given her non-pooping status, you'd think that'd be a good thing, but it wasn't. She was throwing up and fussy. She was a mess.

Last week her temperature got to 101.3 which for an infant who is less than 8 weeks (which she was) is way too high. We called our pediatrician's office and the on call doctor in turn sent us to our local ER. The ER doctor took one look at her, listened to her chest for literally about 3 seconds and said, "You know, she looks fine and if she looks fine that generally means she is fine." I almost choked on the words I was holding back. Needless-to-say, the next morning I called our pediatrician's office again, talked to our doctor and we were sent immediately to Scottish Rite Children's Hospital for tests.

The doctor there told me that he would have wanted us to come days earlier because his allowable temp for an infant that young is much lower (100.4) than our own doctor's comfort level (100.8). He looked her over and decided that a series of tests were indeed in order. I told him that I felt pretty confident that she had the same virus that the others had but just worse. He agreed but decided we should do the tests just in case.

Poor Madison then went through getting her blood drawn (which with teeny tiny veins makes for a hard job for the nurse and lots of pain for baby!), we took urine samples, did chest and tummy xrays and finally a spinal tap. That was torture to watch, not because I felt like they were hurting her (they numbed her back so I know she wasn't in pain) but because she was screaming as a result of the position they had to have her in to get her spine to open up. I was so happy when all the tests were done. All we had to do was wait then.

All tests came back negative and the doctor concluded that yes, she was just suffering from the same virus the older kids had. It was just affecting her more severely. We were told to follow up with our pediatrician a few days later. On Friday she was worse and I called the doctor to get her seen again. She was starting to be more congested. Our ped looked her over and said that he wanted stool cultures on her just to be sure she didn't have something other than the original virus. UGH! I hate getting stool samples anyway but from her it was going to be extra hard!

Through the weekend she continued to get worse. I almost put in a call to her doctor on Sunday (especially since I knew he was the on call doctor!) but decided against it. Instead I called on Monday morning. They were booked and put us in for an appointment today. This morning brought more fever, more congestion and more fussiness. Looking her over he found that she has the beginnings of ear infections and a lot of "crud" in her lungs. We started antibiotics. We are hoping that this will finally be the cure for her. I forgot to take in the much sought after poop sample that I was finally able to get last night so I will have to go back with those tomorrow. She was back to diarrhea today.

It's funny to think that 8 weeks ago I would have never thought this is where we'd be right now. I thought maybe we'd be dealing with Spina Bifida problems but those have not materialized (and hopefully won't!) Even though those haven't been here we've dealt with so many things anyway. I didn't visualize myself watching her have a needle stuck in her back and seeing the doctor take some of her spinal fluid. I didn't see myself holding her down as still as possible while she screamed and fought for a first and then second and then third sets of xrays. I didn't think her arms would be bruised from being stuck with needles searching for tiny veins. But that has been life so far for 8 weeks. A life that I wouldn't give up for anything.

I guess in the end I know that things could be so much worse. We could be dealing with bigger physical problems but we aren't. Don't get me wrong, it has been so hard! I hate seeing my poor little girl struggling so much. I hate wondering if she is going to have trouble breathing today or if she'll throw up continuously (on top of sickness she has severe reflux). I hate seeing her struggle to poop. I hate taking her in for the testing she's been through. But I know it could be worse and I am grateful it's not.

It's funny to look at her, knowing she's #9, and still be amazed at how much love I can have for her. You would think you are prepared for that love after so many but you aren't. You might even think that your heart only has so much room but every time we add a child we add more room for love. I look at her and feel overwhelmed with emotions. She is tiny. She is beautiful. She is mine. I don't deserve her but I thank God every single day for her.

Please continue to keep her in your prayers. Thank you!

Quote Of The Day

Savannah asked me at supper tonight...

"Mama, do you know why old people eat with their pinkies out?"

"No, why?"

"It's so after they take a bite they can dig out what's stuck in their teeth."

I laughed and said ok but I'm pretty sure that people (even old ones) don't eat with their pinkies out so they can get out any stuck food. I hated to tell her that it's probably "fancy" people who eat that way and surely "fancy" people don't dig in their teeth after they eat!

New Post At The Homeschool Classroom

I have a new post up over at The Homeschool Classroom... you should check it out even if you don't homeschool (you can see a few pictures of my mess and my attempts at organizing!)

It's been a while since I last linked to The Homeschool Classroom although I have been writing every week there since the start of last school year (although we are writing every other week during the summer). I thoroughly enjoy writing there and I always mean to link over to my articles. If you'd like to see them you can scroll on the side and click on the link "Written by Michelle". Of course besides just the articles written by me there are so many great articles written by several amazing homeschooling moms! You should check them out too.

If you are a homeschooler, or even if you aren't, and you have an idea of something you'd like one of us to write about please let me know! I'd love hear about new topics to write about. Leave me a comment here and let me know what you think about my article over at the Homeschool Classroom. Leave a comment there as well! I'd love to hear from you!